Happy 9 Years Of Wedded Bliss To My Hubby!!

Hated my dress. . .loved my Date!! :)

NINE YEARS!!!! I seriously feel old. It doesn't seem like we should be married for nine years!!! It feels like maybe three or four years ago was our wedding!!??

I am not feeling very creative right now. . .so this is going to be simple and sweet. To see fun and creative posts go here and here.

I can honestly say that this hasn't been the easiest life for Ryan and I. I wish that I could give him the life that he deserves. I know that he has made my life so much better. I truly love him with all my heart!! I am excited to be with him for Eternity!! He is my best friend and Secret Keeper. Not a day goes by that I don't want to be right by his side. He makes me laugh. He comforts me when I am sad or had a bad dream. He is absolutely the BEST!! I love my Ryan!!

Happy Anniversary to my Sweet, Loving, Adorable, Funny, Husband!!! I love you Ryan!! Sorry I am sick on our Anniversary!!

Heather Dumpty

Warning: This is another pity post.

Heather Dumpty sat on a wall.
Heather Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men,
Couldn’t put Heather Dumpty back together again.

I am broken. I have no confidence. My self esteem is shattered. I am a failure.

Ryan and I have spent the last 14 months going through infertility treatments (not to mention the previous 6+ years of this battle). The only thing I have to show for it is a bruised stomach and bum, a sharps container filled with needles, a depleted bank account, a bloated and sore body, a medicine cabinet that would impress a pharmacist, hormone acne, cottage fever, a dirty house, and the hardest of all … my aching empty arms. I am in major physical and emotional pain. I am a disappointment to myself and my family (even though Ryan disagrees).

We have decided to take our hat out of the ring. We are done. I think coming to terms with the fact that I will never have children will be harder than going through another miscarriage. But we have tried just about everything that we are open to trying. There comes a point where we need to say enough is enough . . . we can’t force something to happen.

I have had an inner battle with God over this subject. I questioned Him. I felt that it was harder to believe in Him knowing He is the one choosing this life for me. I am forever haunted by the “what ifs” and “why not’s.” Why would a loving God do this to us? Then I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a beautiful earth that I have been blessed enough to visit and see. I have a great family and wonderful friends. Best of all . . . I have an amazing compassionate husband that loves me. It may be rough right now . . . but I think I have it pretty good in this life. God does love me. My pains are His pains.

My very wise father told me that I might have a lesson that God is trying to teach me. I didn’t want to listen at the time. I figured I had learned it already. I was very wrong. I need to learn this lesson. It may be a lesson that will, in the end, help me come to terms with being childless, or maybe it will lead to us being parents. Either way I am looking forward to getting through this.

Also, Ryan and I have been through a lot. Please understand that we may not be open to discuss other alternatives or change our minds about trying to have a “family.” I am fine discussing the situation. I just hope that people will be respectful of our decision and have tact when talking with or about us.

One more thing. I have faith that I will be able to be with my children again. In the next life I will have the chance to raise them. They were very real and very much alive prior to the miscarriages. I have felt them live and I have seen their heartbeat. If your belief is different than mine then please keep it to yourself.

I am going to get better. This pain and sorrow will not be what defines me!! I only share this with you so that you might find the same strength that I am trying to find. I believe that everyone has obstacles to overcome. No one has it harder or easier than another. I still feel like I have a long way to go until I am able to function again. So if I am distant, sad, or not social, please understand that I am really struggling right now.

On that same note, I am going to get my life back this year. Ryan and I will go on our fun vacations again. I will lose all this weight I gained from having to take it easy. I am going to run a ½ marathon. Hopefully I will survive a half marathon . . . :)! I will finally be able to live without having to worry each month that I will kill another one of my babies.

Hopefully this will be my last pity party post, but I can’t promise anything.

There. I have said my piece. How was your holiday?

Need self storage or a moving truck?

After my last post I realized that I should offer a couple discounts that I have access to.

First, for anyone in any state, we rent Penske trucks and can likely reserve you a truck at a lower price than you'll find anywhere else (Uhaul, Budget or even other Penske dealers). I'm pretty confident of that. You don't have to pick up the truck from our facilities; however, if it's an option then we can usually get you an even better deal that way. This offer includes people in Utah or wherever else people read Heather's blog. A little side note on Penske trucks vs. Uhaul. Penske trucks are usually newer and better maintained. Additionally, they are cheaper after you factor in all the costs. Even if you choose not to take advantage of my offer, at least use Penske (online with the AAA discount will save you the most).

Next, for those who are within driving distance of Long Beach or Hawthorne, California (near LAX) and could benefit from a self storage unit, let me know. Again, we can make you a better deal than you'll get anywhere else. There is no need to pay more than you have to and we have some of the nicest places in town.

Finally, if you need a referral for a mover in Southern California, I have a good one. He's not the cheapest but he's reasonable and very good.

Don't be afraid to use me for any of these offers. I'm happy to help if you need it. It really is not a hassle. Just email or call (or post a comment on the blog).

That's all. Sorry to those who get tired of reading my posts which are usually about "deals." I don't like to overpay for things and don't hate to see others do it either.

Know a good plumber, roofer, window washer, etc?

As some may know, my family owns and operates two self storage facilities. We are always in search of good commercial contractors for various trades. Right now we are very happy with the electrician and concrete person that we use, so that is the only trades we don't need a referral on. All of the rest I would consider switching if they did quality work and charged a reasonable price.

Does anyone have friends or family (or anyone else that you can refer) that is licensed to do commercial work? I'd love to be able to serve our needs and help out a reader of Heather's blog.

Some of the trades we are looking for include, but are not limited to, plumbing, landscaping, heating & air conditioning, roofing, pest control, finish carpentry, painting, flooring & tile work, locksmith, door repair, welding, banners & signs, and general handymen. Basically, we have need for almost every trade and one time or another. The plumber and electrician will get a lot of business from us this year (unfortunately). Keep in mind that they need to work in the LA & Orange County, California markets.

Thanks for your help. Also, let me know if you every need a referral for any of these trades. You may get a better deal with our referral.